Where's My Jet Pack?

I'm sitting down; submerged in free wifi; watching people order greasy food...the usual.
I'm uncomfortable BTW. I'm hunched on the edge of a "sofa" next to the only power outlet I see in the place. The "tables" are not table height. So, I alternate from crouching position to panni lap blogging.

Why isn't there a super-cool hangout public space where we may gather to blog, eat, and just Be?
You know, cool music, coffee, and conversation. Its not Starbucks or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. All of these businesses which now offer free wifi are appreciated. I see many a 20 something sitting in their car and playing with their smart phones in the parking lot. But what about us poor 30something with no car?

Word Press

Here I am sitting in the Beverly Connection, with a laptop so hot it could melt cheese. Watching all the pretty girls and boys go by.

I've decided to move my blog to word press. Why? B/c if I buy a Kindle, I will be able to blog with it. And, a book told me to do so. I like books what can I say? But since I have to move it and get a domain name and all this other stuff; sit tight. This may take a while.

Just a Sign of the Times

How is life with bangs? Actually, its pretty awesome. I got my new look because I was so excited about a new job. This work was supposed to start Monday and last for a month or two. So I got my hair done, my eyebrows waxed, and my clothes pressed. Got there bright and early for... the project cancellation.

Yup. It happened again. Another lawsuit cancelled or settled.  They even had a case. And now... well now I'm back where I started from. But with a fantastic new do!

What is all this leading up to?

Boom

Strike a Pose

Thursday

Today is another fabulous day in Los Angeles, CA! I want to tell everyone that I had a wonderful birthday on July 3rd and spent a wonderful 4th with friends. This birthday was the best yet: my friends took me sailing; we ate out; I tasted the best flan I have ever had; I got a cupcake from Crumbs; the cupcake man flirted with me; and the good times just keep piling up from there. Plus I have decided to start blogging again.
Who could ask for anything more?

I'm healthy. I'm living in my own apartment. I'm excited about the future.

I may never marry.

This one is filed under men and relationships. If I am way too hard on myself, then you know I'm really hard on other people. Lets just say I'm judgmental. I mean, honestly, I've made young men cry over not using their knives and forks. Therapy has given me the insight that those people cried not because they were ashamed, but because I'm harsh.  I should be more accepting. I am not more accepting because I'm even harsher with myself.

The prescription: Lighten up!

This week and last week has been spent mostly with a new friend. He used to live in my apartment building and he is from the South. In fact, I am storing some of his (no adjective here) possessions while he finds a new place. I'm so nice huh?

Not really; because I notice I want to snap his head off in our discussions. And it really is the tiniest things that set me off.  I made him dinner. (no comment) And I said to him "Dinner. Dinner is ready." He didn't acknowledge me. Of course, I lost it. I then took a step back made eye contact and said "I said dinner is ready. This food ain't gonna dish up itself and bring itself to you."

Yeah. Can you say flashback. I loved cooking for my family but I was a kid; and sometimes didn't want to cook. What would make me furious is if I cooked; called my family to dinner; and they did not come. A tiny bit like I have described above.

I am way too hard on myself

So what's new with you?
I broke up with my therapist. Cry at night from sadness about my grandparents passing. My meds have been upped. And I'm waaay too hard on myself.

Lately, I have been seeing just how other people make mistakes, drive their romantic partners crazy, and still wind up with higher self esteem and a happier existence. And it has finally hit me like a brick: I am too hard on myself. My standard is not perfection but it may as well be. I need to do some work and try to get on with my life.

I really don't have anything more to say than that. This entry shows I'm restarting my blog. Why? Why not!